D'oh- I Don't Think that Means What You Think it Means...
This may be the last time you hear from me.
You see, it’s “Super Hero Day” at school today. All week we have been going back and forth on what Nathan should be. He has costumes and gear for Iron Man, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Batman (which I thought was Darth Vader because apparently, I can’t tell them apart). He even has a costume for Shark Boy, who was an obscure super hero from the nineties, and of course, he has the stuff to be Captain Underpants. Anyway, he also had a Power Ranger costume, which seemed like the easiest option.
Now, if you haven’t seen these costumes, they are pretty form fitting. They are also not really thick enough to wear on their own. So, being the brilliant mom that I am, I decided to put pajamas on him underneath the costume. It was cold this morning and no one would see them anyway. Best of all, they are tight enough to be hidden under the costume.
All morning, Nathan was worrying about his costume. He was afraid that he might not be able to get it back on after going to the bathroom and have to wear his pjs at school. He was worried that no one would remember what a Power Ranger was. I kept telling him that there was nothing to worry about..all would be well, etc.
Perhaps I should have remembered that I am the mom whose 22-year-old daughter is still traumatized from being sent to school decked out as Goldilocks on the wrong day. Or that I am the mom who sat up all night making a snake costume for her oldest only to find out that the costume was too heavy for him to stand up in. Or if none of that gave me pause, perhaps the fact that I called Nathan a “Power Puff Girl” this morning should have made me remember that sometimes, SOMETIMES, I don’t get things quite right.
Unfortunately, it was only AFTER I dropped Nathan off at school and noticed that no one else seemed to be wearing super hero costumes that I began to wonder if “Super Hero Gear” might mean something other than “costumes”. What if to everyone else, “super hero gear” just means super hero branded clothes?!?!?!?!
Nathan can’t even take the costume off without being embarrassed- he’s got pajamas on underneath. It’s also supposed to be SEVENTY-FIVE degrees and I have put him in TWO LAYERS OF LONG SLEEVES. So, it is safe to surmise that if he survives the embarrassment, he may die of heat stroke. If he doesn’t die of heat stroke, he will definitely kill ME when he gets home.
It has been nice knowing you.